Brave New Chance

I have a nice mellow week ahead of me! It's pretty nice because I'm a bit fixated on the one thing that has me a bit freaked out.

On Wednesday...gulp...I have a woman coming to my house to help me with...with the clutter that has taken over every room in my house.

And I'm scared.

And I'm embarrassed.

How did this happen? I was never a total neat freak, but I never imagined letting things get so bad.

Sigh.

Okay, I had some bad years and somewhere in the midst of those years, it all let go and took over. It started when we moved from a 1700 square foot house, with a two car garage and a garden shed to an 1100 square foot house, no garage (not even a carport) and no sheds. And really bad storage. Little by little, over the space of a year, boxes were emptied as I tried to take it slow, tried to make certain everything went where it was supposed to go.

Didn't do too bad. Until...well, the two years before my sudden cardiac death weren't good years. I suffer from chronic depression and it was winning. Four years after my sudden cardiac death I accept that this is beyond me. And Wednesday, Casey is coming.

Part of me wants to spend the next three days cleaning everything I possible can. But wouldn't that defeat the purpose of doing it right? So it won't happen again?

Wish me luck.

I do have one fun thing happening this week. The ladies of  the Moonlight, Lace and Mayhem blog are spending February letting Cupid interview couples from assorted books. On Thursday, Emily and Captain Silvestri are on the hotseat! Do come by! It should be a lot of fun!

And I'll likely need fun after Wednesday's scary visit. (shudder)

 

Comments

[Donna Cummings]

Sounds like you're taking the right step. :) So even though it seems scary now, it'll be worthwhile to get the project started. It's just like writing a book!

[Maureen]

Gods, I hope you're right, Donna. I fight the sense of total failure and the embarrassment of how bad this is. I don't think Casey has a real idea how bad it is. I mean, I don't think I'm ready for hoarders...but my Mom would just shake her head and heavy, heavy, heavy sigh.

I just pray I can do this! And I intend to see my husband here at the same time. Because it didn't get this bad without his help!