2nd Chances

Technical Chances

 

Took a big step this week. Ordered a new laptop.

 

Sigh.

 
 

I had little choice with this. I could take a chance on my beloved Fujitsu Lifebook, continuing to place stickers on the holes my nails have driven in the keys, tolerating its tar-baby slowness when on the internet and the occasional dead stop (no blue screens of death, though…) and I could ignore the crack across one of the two hinges.

 
 

Yes, I could continue to save on data sticks and just pray my beloved wouldn’t let me down sometime when I was on fire with writing, or had been a little lazy and didn’t save progress…

 

Or I could take a chance on a new laptop, before Fuji collapsed under the demands I make.

 

I’ve owned Fuji for…oh…five years. An eternity for a laptop. He’s been admired many, many times by people at Starbucks. Often, I had people stop and ask me about the little guy. Fuji was small and compact before the netbooks took over the scene. He has a CD-Rom…and he’s sharp looking. All dressed up with a bright graphic of parrots taped to his lid and a few pirate stickers…

 

But I was scared. And worried.

 

And my husband has a discount from work for Dell Computers… So, I did it. Ordered a new Dell Inspiron. With the Windows 7 OS. I’m really scared to death of that. Honestly, I use Windows XP and my version of Word is 2003.

 

Will I make the adjustment without going mad? Without losing something important? Will the increased speed and screen size see me lose even more of my freewill, unable to click away from the lure of Twitter, assorted blogs, Facebook?

 

Sigh.

 

I needed to take the chance, even if it rattles me. By the time this blog is posted, I’ll have the new kid. And we’ll see if it sucks me onto the rocks of distraction or sets me free to sail the cyber seas faster and with less wasted time…

 

But Fuji is not dead. Fuji is simply going into retirement. And since he’s lighter and easier to pack, he may still be the laptop of choice for trips…

 

Now, I will need to devise some new stickers for the Dell… He’s black…maybe I’ll use some double stick tape and put new cover on him…along with some pirate stickers!

The Right Chance

 

Okay, making the right choice. Though really, it’s taking the right chance also. What am I referring to? Free downloads. Of music, of books, of photos. No, not the stuff that is legitimately posted for free, but the unauthorized copying and, let’s be honest, piracy of copyrighted material.

 

As a budding e-author, this is an issue I’m striving to educate myself about. And what I’m finding out is just disturbing. Not so much from a monetary standpoint, though that is of course a serious thing. But mainly, what bothers me is the sense of entitlement that too many people embrace.

 

The resistance to actually give credit (money) to those who create. And the flippant enjoyment of breaking the law. These things really bothers me.

 

Let’s face it, we are talking about breaking the law. About cheating and stealing.

 

Just because something is available for free doesn’t mean that it is legit or that a person is entitled to have it. For free.

 

There’s a rampant message out in society that constantly and casually stealing by frequenting piracy sites is fine. In fact, it is a right…wow. This really is disturbing.

 

What message is being sent to the world that this is not only tolerated, but seen as no big deal?

 

And what message does it send to the next generation?

 

Honestly!

 

The parents who sit in the front seat, actively and consistently speeding (not the occasional bit we all do, but studied, planned, knowingly breaking the speed laws because, after all, they are so ‘stupid’) (and I’m a skilled driver and it’s safe for me to go 85 MPH) … sigh. Kids are not blind. Kids are not stupid. Kids are not deaf. They are little sponges. And they go to school and hear the teachers talk about laws, talk about being a good citizen, the importance of honesty, integrity, kindness…and then the family sits down to watch a movie the eldest kid downloaded off the internet, and didn’t pay for it.

 

They watch Mom keep an eye out for cops so that Dad won’t get a ticket.

 

They hear Mom and Dad talk about stupid laws. About how Steven Spielberg isn’t going to miss the royalties off a bootlegged copy of whatever. And they absorb the idea that laws they don’t agree with are meant to be ignored. That it’s okay to steal if you don’t know the people involved.

 

And they grow up convinced that not only is it okay to steal, but that it’s their right to steal.

 

There’s a debate going on right now in Washington about copyright laws and the internet. I’m all for an open exchange of ideas on the internet. But not stealing. Who does it hurt when a person downloads the latest Nora Roberts from a pirate site? She won’t miss it! But…of course, it’s still wrong. It’s still stealing. And if it’s okay to steal from Nora then it’s okay to steal from another author, and another, and another and another.

 

But it isn’t.

 

I’m on the cusp of seeing my book available online. And of seeing it pirated and then I wage a running battle with people who are vastly skilled at evading whatever laws are in effect to protect me.

 

And I’m imaging the conversation I’ll likely to have with the young people of my family, about how I expect them to BUY my book, not steal it.

 

It’s a conversation I shouldn’t have to have. But I bet I do!

 

Defining Chance

Definitions are important, but difficult sometimes to clarify. Is a chance the same as an opportunity?

 

I see it that way, but some see chance as nothing more than a matter of luck, once the moment is gone, it’s done with. For me, chance was an opportunity given to me to make things different. Yes, I could have taken the actions to make changes in my life before being nearly killed by my heart malfunction.

 

But I needed the kick in the ass to wake up and seize my opportunity. Sure, it was a matter of luck that I survived. Luck that my husband was awake enough to realize something was wrong. Luck that he wasn’t still in the shower. Luck that he remembered enough CPR to keep me alive until the EMTs got there. That was at that moment.

 

But the chance? Ah, that was what came next. That was also an opportunity, even if it did take me months to realize that what had entered my life was more than good luck.

 

What about responsibility? Is it the same as fault? Or blame?

 

I don’t think so. Responsibility is a position of strength. When you take responsibility, you also take the power to change things. I suppose with fault or blame, you can also have the power to atone, but it’s a far less powerful position.

 

I’m writing a character who was sexually abused by a sadistic pedophile from years 7 to 15. She’s 45 when I’m writing her and she is determined to carry the responsibility for her abuse. She doesn’t really consider herself at fault, nor does she blame herself. But she is all about responsibility.

 

I’m having a hard time with that balancing act. I want to bring her to a place where she can let go of the responsibility, the blame and the very idea of fault, inasmuch as it pertains to her!

 

Somewhere, in the convoluted situation I’ve created, I have to find that magical place between her accepting her lack of power and the opportunity that doing so presents to her.

 

I have a feeling the answer lies in something my friend, Julie Du Chesne posted last week…

 

“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” (Carl Jung)

 

My character was not defined by what happened when she was 7…or continued to happen for 8 years. As I said, it’s all in the definitions!

 

 

Tortured by Chance

I’m being slowly roasted lately. Determined to have a second volume available for Decadent should The Kraken’s Mirror do well, I’ve been slogging through the adventures of a second couple in the kraken’s world.

 

Mick is the lover of the Jezebel. Who captains the ship featured in The Kraken’s Mirror. And their story is a bit more convoluted. Jezebel isn’t a native to the kraken’s world. She arrived through a portal some thirty years earlier, from an extremely capitalistic steampunk world known as Novan. She’s brilliant and brings with her many of the innovations that enable the ipods to play, the blenders to blend, etc.

 

She’s forty five years old, with fiery red hair and very protective of her adopted world. She allied with the magic makers of Tortuga and blocked her homeworld from invasion. But Jez has a lot of secrets. And her heart is fortified against softer emotions and commitment.

 

Mick is her carefree partner. They’ve been lovers on and off for nearly twenty years. He know she holds back but up until now, he’s been content with that. After seeing Emily and Silvestri succeed and flourish in a relationship, he’s thinking it might be time to change the on and off for a more permanent berth.

 

Then Jezebel’s homeworld breaks through, intent of bringing back their lost daughter. And all her inventions. Plus the world she discovered is ripe for harvest…

 

Bwah ha ha!

 

Sounds great, don’t it?

 

Sigh. Torture. Pure torture. Page by page, I’m slogging my way through this. Fighting to keep the adventure from bogging down in darker events. (Jez has good reasons to keep her secrets. And some serious topics that I’m working on and want to get right!)

 

I really want this book in the first draft by the end of the month. I’m a bit over 40k and need about 70k. I’ve done the math, figure I need 2k a day.

 

(I have another project I want to start with NaNo. Give this book a rest for a month. And somewhere in there, I hope to begin tackling revisions for The Kraken’s Mirror. Yes, going to be an insane holiday season. Anything to keep me out of the shopping madness, I figure!)

 

So, I’ve decided two pages at a time. Two pages in the morning when I first arrive at Starbucks. Two pages right before I leave. Two pages when I get home. Two pages before bed. And I’ll have 2k a day. Between all of this is walking the dog, blogging, e-mail, twitter…oh, and some housework. And researching where to go for bookmarks, keeping track of my webpage redesign…

 

Weeeeee!

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

 

 

How do you handle the deadline stuff? Besides going the those nice young men?

Finding the Good in Bad Looking Chances

Okay, going to talk a little specific today. About how those bad breaks aren’t always the bad breaks we initially think.

 

The media is full of how these tough times have brought families together. How they are bonding over the Monopoly board (so ironic! Considering what that game really celebrates!) But I digress… The idea being that the tough economic times are good for us.

 

Not sure I buy it. I suppose in small ways there are good things rising from all of this. But the only way to see them is to look at them day to day. As in ‘today I don’t have a job. But I have my health and I have my family.’

 

Not a bad thing to be aware of.

 

But most of us wake up each morning with the thought ‘what catastrophe will fall on me next?’ It’s a hard habit to shake.

 

And the bad things do seem to fall like dominoes. Trying to convince oneself that this will end, that the dominoes will run out, that life will take an upswing…it’s hard.

 

It just is!

 

Finding the good in the midst of bad and continuing bad is really a battle. But I believe that until you can recognize and acknowledge the good stuff, the bad will continue to linger and haunt you.

 

It’s the law of magnetic attraction. You focus on the bad, you see the bad and miss the little bits of turn around that might mean a chance for some good stuff to sneak in…if you can quit searching for the next bit of badness to smack you around.

 

And there are good things. I have a relative. The sweetest, hardest working kid. Life hasn’t always been easy for him and he isn’t perfect. But hell, he tries! Some really heavy stuff hit him these last few years and he found himself with a dependence on a prescription drug that crossed over into addiction. Then something else happened that really put the pressure on him…straighten up or you are going to lose the most important thing in your life.

 

It was hell, but he did it. He kicked the addiction. And he’s healthier than he’s been in years. But…things are still really a battle. Financial wise, job wise, relationship wise…but he hasn’t given up.

 

How does he look at all of the horrible tricks life has played on him and focus on the one good thing…no, there are several good things, but for the sake of this blog…the one good thing that saw him kick the addiction? Consider how things might have gone if that challenge hadn’t been kicked his way?

 

The chance that turned his life around was a gift. Not a sweet, sweet gift, but like many challenges…it came with some sourness.

 

It seems the same with so many of the ‘gifts’ of this recession. I sure don’t know how to shift perception. I work on it every day. And sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I don’t.

 

But I do know things won’t get better if all we can taste is the sour, see the sh*t, keep searching for the next shoe to drop... The only thing we can personally change is us.

 

If I can finally see my sudden cardiac death as a blessing and chance to change my life, anything seems possible.

 

A Sunday wish for the possible to hover in your minds eye today.

Making the Most of My Chance

 

When I got that e-mail about Decadent wanting to buy my book…heck, the months before when I got an agent…I started to think about how to be ready. How to be ready to make the most of my chance.

 

In today’s marketplace, we all know how fast things move. Okay, maybe not for the print first people, but for the e-pubbers…it’s lightning. And, come to think of it, I’m sure it moves like crazy once that book is out there for the print people. One way or the other, it’s all about being ready and doing all there is to be done to see your chance bear fruit, bear seeds, grow new trees!

 

With all of that in mind, I took a class on ‘Making Money with Your Blog’ … It’s not that I really thought of making money. I just wanted to know about how to use twitter, how to connect things together, how to make it easy for people to find me and my books, my blogs, all of that!

 

And two weeks into the month long class, I was lost. I need a class that is much more basic! At least I got the idea of how many ways there are out there to connect. Even if I’m still not sure how to go about it!

 

One thing I grew certain of… I need an expert to help me out and get me started. I mean, I do tweet…poorly. I have a Facebook presence…which is fun. I blog. ;-) I blog three places!

 

I like to blog and I’ve had friends say I should be podcasting, but not sure I’m ready for that. Not to mention I have no idea how to do it or even if my old and ancient computer could do it… (Yup, a three year old Fujitsu. I know, that is ancient in computer age!) (My Toshiba at home is even older…seven, I think. It likes to get too hot and just shut down. And yes, we save everything on it, often! On a separate back-up!)

 

I think I’ll like Twitter, once I get the hang of it. How to re-tweet, schedule tweets, etc. And Decadent has people who will help to educate me and encourage me and make suggestions. They are the professionals at it. I don’t need to be a professional, but I do need to be better at understanding all of it.

 

I mean, I have a cover! Soon, I’ll have a book!

 

I’ve put out some feelers, looking for someone to help me with my webpage, getting all the links hooked up, bringing together the quilt squares I have and making a real quit out of them! Including this blog page.

 

Because in this day, you have to move fast or you miss the first chance! Help me out some…what makes you pay attention to a website? A Tweet? (I know covered that last blog. Let’s move on.) A Facebook page? And what does it take for you to follow a link? Pay attention? Does giving away stuff at conventions garner the right sort of attention? How do you feel about newsletters? Ever see anything that particularly worked? Share!

Tentacles of Chance

 

 

Hee, hee. Yes, this is the cover for my premier book, The Kraken’s Mirror. Ain’t it pretty? And I totally love that wondrous white tentacle. Considering the kraken of the title is albino, it works.

 

What were the chances of this book actually being accepted? Well, as I’ve written before, I certainly wasn’t sure of it. I mean, I was sure that the story was great. I love the characters, love the world I’ve created…absurd, full of brave, adventurous souls and the odd romance loving kraken… But I had my doubts the publishers would go for my senior couple.

 

I knew the world was ready for it.

 

A friend, Donna Cummings, sent me a great link of women discussing the entire concept of an older heroine for romance…check it out at The Naked Hero. I for one was thrilled to read a discussion about what the world is ready for. And only one comment saying it was never going to happen.

 

I’m sure the same was once said about gay romance, interracial romance, etc. One thing the internet has made possible, among a bazillion other things, is to give a voice to those who previous were unheard save in their own community. The baby boomers are a huge demographic and we are coming into our silver years determined to not be shuffled off into the rocking chairs.

 

(Nothing wrong with rocking chairs, I like them, too!)

 

In some ways, cyberspace has the potential to homogenous all of us. It also has the chance for everyone to find a space to be heard.

 

Work on your voice, be heard! Take a chance and comment on a blog, whether you agree or not. Mine or someone elses! I lurked for months on blogs before commenting, but I’ve learned… When I spoke up on the Romance Writers Revenge, I made some incredible friends. Friends who the new book is dedicated to.

 

It’s a big cyberworld! And it’s waiting for you!